Last year, around this time, I wrote a blog post about how to make friends. It’s been a year since, so I thought let’s review the advice I gave and see how successful I have been in making friends. Ok, so let’s the facts straight:
Do I have friends? – Yes
Do I have close friends? – Yes
Do I have friends close enough that I will put my life in their hands? – Probably not my life, but yea I do
So, I think I am kinda successful, I guess? So, let’s think about the things I have done in the past year, and hopefully it helps you if you are having trouble finding friends in Dundee (which I think is highly impossible, the people are sooooo nice!):
Clubs and Societies
This was my first advice last year, and it will stay on as my no.1 advice this year. Mainly because, it brings people with similar beliefs and wants together. The perfect recipe for a longstanding friendship. Some of my closest friends in Dundee are people I met through the amazing Dundee University Singapore Society (DUSG) [ the best and most fun society, for sure!]. these people are my closest friends and would probably be forever since we are all from the same home country. But then again, it was also the all fun and well organises events we took part in as part of the DUSG. We celebrated Deepavali, Christmas, Chinese New Year and many other festivals together. We had local food sessions, we hang out together, go out at night together. I believe we have become inseparable now and I like it. It helps me with home sickness which I do get at times, but I mean with these people around, I never feel that way. Thank you, guys!
And the best part is, there is no shortage of interest based groups in Dundee. For those who went to the DUSA fresher’s fair, you will know what I am talking about. You just have to find the one which best fits you. I mean, it can be slightly tough but it can help to go to the many welcome events the different societies through this and the next month. I mean, there is even a society to drink tea? Don’t get me wrong, I love DunTea, I too am a member of that club (amazing people)! But you get me, right?
Go find your people and don’t stop till you do!
Don’t be Shy! Just talk!
One of those clichés advises that is easy to give but hard to follow. You might not believe it, but I too am a shy person. I don’t talk to people immediately. My friends who might be reading this, will probably think I am lying but it’s true guys, I am shy. But that doesn’t mean I don’t talk to people. University is all about putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and talking to people is one of them. For a shy person, talking to people you have never seen before takes so much effort, it really tires you out and you would rather stay home in you comfy pyjamas and not leave your bed (trust me, I will take that any day compared to a night out).
One trick for people like me, is to befriend a person who is slightly more talkative / socialable then you. Then through him or her get to know other people. Let that person who initiates the conversation then you can join in once you feel you are ready! Easy peasy! It can tough at first, but as time goes, trust me you will feel better. It’s always better to have friends around you. It really does help you feel better about yourself and increase your self confidence
Get to know the person beside you
Yes, making friends is as easy as that. When you are in a lecture, turn to the person next to you. Then say, “That was a boring/fun lecture, huh?” (depending on the lecturer and the topic of the lecture). And bam, you have started a conversation. Don’t stop there. “Hey! My name is Navin, I don’t believe we have met, what’s yours?” and bam now you will know their name. Then ask where they are from or where they live now (of course, not in a creepy way) and now you are in a full-blown conversation and now you have person who might give you that friendly smile when you across them. And just like that you have made a friend. Making friends is the most fun part of university and I don’t think anyone should feel embarrassed or feel they are unfit to make friends. And one by one, you will get to know the people who may sit around you in lectures or even in tutorials.
Reflections of Week 3
I have thrown a lot of info at you this post. But these are all anecdotal and what may work for me would not for you. But that is the fun part. To figure out your own way to makes friends and to make you own cute clique that you share almost all information about your life, is really what university is about. That and all the assignments and examinations which you have to do. That reminds me, I got a whole lot of lectures to catch up on. Till my next post, #udou!