LGBT+ don’t just come out once in a shower of glitter and then ride off on a unicorn to a lady gaga drag show and that’s it. We come out almost every day. It gets easier with time, but it is also still a very stressful situation depending on your environment.
Alex Muir, Vice President of Representation

National Coming Out Day, 2017 marks 29 years of celebrating those coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) or as an ally. This year we’ve asked our LGBT+ champions on campus to share their coming out and ally stories.

Coming out – whether it is as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or allied – STILL MATTERS. When people know someone who is LGBTQ, they are far more likely to support equality under the law. Beyond that, our stories can be powerful to each other.

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Alice Horton, Digital Interaction Design Student


“Coming out as Trans was really planned out for me. A year before I told anyone I categorised all my family and friends into how fearful I was about telling them but thankfully the first few were really positive. There is an aspect of fear to coming out and I was fearful of rejection.

I wish people told me that coming out isn’t always a black and white thing – I’m still coming out now after 13 months. However, here in Scotland we are more accepting and that helps.”

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Thomas Veit, Director of External Relations


“Don’t assume you are on your own when you are coming out. If you do feel you are on your own – there are hopefully enough support mechanisms now on campus for students and staff, ranging from DUSA to the Staff Network that people can join so you don’t feel totally isolated.”

National Coming Out Day is an opportunity to raise awareness, although I would argue that if you are LGBT then you are continually coming out to people when you meet them for the first time.

Let’s keep working together and building a positive community here in the University.

Dianne Cantali, Lecturer in Teacher Education

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Susie Schofield, Deputy Director of the Master’s in Medical Education


“Don’t be afraid to challenge if you don’t feel safe or if you are uncomfortable – there are lots of people you can talk to. Also if you feel that there is more we can be doing to help you feel safe to come out – come talk to us at the LGBT Staff Network.”

 

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Cameron Jack, English and Northern Irish Law Student


“I think coming out day is a good way to encourage a safe environment for young adults coming out. Especially as it isn’t an easy thing.
Coming from Northern Ireland, Dundee is a lot more open and you can feel so much more comfortable. But make sure you take time and come out when it suits you – University is a good place to take time to reflect on what you as an individual needs.”

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Matthew Simpson, Law with French Student


“Whilst coming out is an incredibly important thing – a turning point that should be encouraged, there can often be an extra pressure on people to come out when they aren’t ready.

The advice I would give to those people, who may be afraid to come out, is that you should come out at your own pace, don’t force yourself to do something you aren’t comfortable with.”

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Frances Campbell, Postgraduate Law Student


“If I could change anything it would be for others to be more accepting, they don’t have to understand it – you can’t change the way people understand life, especially if it’s been informed by the way they grew up, but if we could all be more accepting of each other – then that would go a long way.”

I’m a Dundee graduate from 1998. I was pretty focused on academic life initially and it wasn’t until the latter stages of university and early clinical work that I began to appreciate that there was both “more to life than just work and studies’ as well as questioning who I was personally. 

It takes time to think, reflect and process these and affirm your own persona. I’ve been ‘lucky’ in life and love with a loving and supportive family and husband but I wholly appreciate that might not always be the case for others!

Every waterfall starts with a raindrop. I think if we can do well here in Dundee then things will continue to build over time. 

 

Kevin McConville, GP / Senior Clinical Teacher Medical School & Stonewall LGBT Champion

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Dr Edzia Carvalho, Lecturer in Politics 


“In many ways, it seems obvious to me that everyone should be treated with respect and dignity and therefore given the opportunity to live their life the way they want to. And in many ways I feel having to be an ally shouldn’t be needed in the 21st century – everyone should be treated the same and celebrate our diversity without feeling threatened or needing to reaffirm what is obvious and every day.

I hope that by the time I am old that the notion of even having to be an ally to a person is outdated and that the kind of diversity we see around us is celebrated.”

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Alex Muir, Vice President of Representation


“When I first came out as a lesbian back when I was 13 to one of my friends, it was proper terrifying. Then I joined Uni and came out as trans the summer of my second year. When you are in the closet, you feel like you are suffocating. You are actively repressing a side of yourself that others take for granted as normal.

I feel like I should have a great deep wise quote now to pass on. So I am going to bastardize a quote from Tyrion Lannister.

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”

 

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Professor Tim Kelly, Dean of the School of Education & Social Work


“I came out when I was at University and it was because of the key support of people around me. I had role models who helped look after me as I went through that process and they really helped me understand what it meant to be me in a safe way.”

Role models and allies are often key to helping people come out. You aren’t alone – remember that.”

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Professor Sir Pete Downes, Principal & Vice-Principal


“I am immensely proud of the University community to have banded together for such an important cause – hopefully, however, in the near future, coming out will be more widely accepted for all those who need it.”

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Victoria Watson, Product Design Student


“Coming out is not as bad as you think…it might be over in 5 minutes and you will be surprised at what you will find out about others. If it is a bad thing, there is support in place for you here in Dundee.”

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Yasmin Odabashy, Biomedical Sciences Student


“My coming out story is an odd one. Until I was 15 I went to a very strict private school, but I knew I was gay since I was 7 years-old – and it was horrible, I had to keep it hidden and it wasn’t a safe environment to come out in. But we moved from London and our situation changed which helped me be able to come out to my family.

When I was younger I thought I’d have to wait until I was a career-driven adult before I could come out but I’d tell anyone worried about it – have faith in your loved ones, they will most likely surprise you.”

The University community honors all who have come out as LGBT+  – that takes bravery, and we commend you. We also thank all those allies who help others and aren’t afraid to be visible helpers for those who need it.